Movie Review: X-Men Days of Future Past

X-Men Days of Future Past (2014) - Directed by Bryan Singer and Written by Simon Kinberg and others
In a devastating future nearly void of both humans and mutants, the remnants of the X-Men send Wolverine to the past where he must change the current of time to save all of humanity from certain doom.

In other words, it's a clever way of taking the white-out and blotting out X-Men: The Last Stand. It's a reboot and a redo all in one (thank you JJ Abrams and Star Trek for the idea). It's a creative way of starting over, but sometimes elaborate plots that change time can leave the audience quite confused.
I had the joy of seeing this movie with my girlfriend, and I hadn't even realized that this was her first X-Men movie (Ah, I remember my first time.). As the lights in the theatre dimmed, I wondered why we were seeing a movie that would basically be tied together by all the previous ones; no doubt, she would have no idea what was going on. However, it was the opposite. I was the one who had seen the series, and while she blissfully accepted the outcome of the movie, I walked in silence, only partially confused mixed with partially satisfied. Don't get me wrong, it was one of the better X-Men movies (thanks to Bryan Singer who directed the first, the second, and finally this one). But for me, I was having trouble trying to understand the inconsistences between the directors. I hadn't seen the original three in a while and most recently watched The Wolverine, which was pointless not only because it didn't add anything to this movie, but it was just plain dumb. Yes, Days of Future Past had it's problems, but the whole point was for Bryan Singer to correct the mistakes of the flunked movies and start over. The problem was that the trilogy didn't line up the origins movie of Wolverine or exactly with First Class so this one was just all over the place. Still, it was enjoyable.

I essentially liked the idea that sending him back in time wouldn't change anything--like throwing a rock in a stream; eventually, the stream would correct itself. But enough interruptions, and the stream would have to redirect its course. Creative.  I also loved Michael Fassbender as usual and liked James McAvoy much better in this film. Then there's the perfection of Sir Patrick Steward and Sir Ian McKellen. The writing was better than X-Men First Class, and the plot was just perfectly spaced between action-packed moments and emotion-filled conversations (even if they were sometimes pointless to the plot).

Now, dare to read onward if you want a couple of smaller spoilers. This part is about how Sarah (who wanted to be referred to as the gorgeous girlfriend) absolutely always points out inconsistencies and poor writing in movies. But this was a super hero movie, and I found myself answering her questions with a bunch of bull crap just because I was defending the sacred territory of the superhero franchise.

"Why did the magnet guy lift an entire stadium?"
At the moment, I said, "To show how powerful he was," but I knew this shot of the movie was actually pointless. He brings it to the White House, and that's the end of that. Then I said, "To place a wall around the White House." "A stadium has opening." "He only brought the top part." I could taste the nonsense on my lips.
"Are the magnet guy and the mind guy best friends?"
They went back and forth so many times in the movie, I had no idea.
"Who was the bad guy?"
No one. No one was the bad guy. The mutants were divided, but they both had good intentions. Even the humans were just protecting themselves. The only real bad guys were the robots in the future that you barely get to see. And they were awesome.
"How did the Wolverine survive after drowning?"
Well, he has regenerative properties as seen throughout the movie--but drowning? There's no coming back from that. I understand rescuing him a couple minutes after he's lost consciousness but a couple hours? How would he regenerate air? With that, they practically made the Wolverine invincible.
Thank goodness Sarah didn't have to worry about the Weapon X program inconsistencies and other problems. All that mattered was the action. All I have to say is that if the X-Men movies are only going to get better (and not switch directors which got us into this problem in the first place), then I can't wait for X-Men Apocalypse.

With all the time changes made in the movie, it's hard to think about this still being the Marvel universe. For me, there's Marvel, X-Men, and DC. This is even more so because of the drastic changes made to history in the movie. As for the X-Men...there's something oddly appealing about mutants. In other superhero movies, the character is special and unique, but in X-Men, there's many of the mutants. And all that's changed is a simple strand of DNA to make them superheroes (or villains). Which means it could happen to any one of us...

Let's just hope we inherit the DNA of Hugh Jackman's body.

Movie Review: Godzilla

Godzilla (2014) - Directed by Gareth Edwards and Written by Max Borenstein and Dave Callaham
The infamous monster rises to battle against ancient creatures that threaten the very existence of humanity. The hunt is on as mankind is thrown in the middle of an epic warfare between gods.

Yes, it's about giant monsters kickboxing in the ruins of heavily populated cities. Yes, I've always been a Godzilla geek. Yes, I know how dumb it sounds, but I think it's worth it. It tells a great story and still provides the viewer with a good amount of suspense and action. It's got some problems, sure, but overall, I think it's a winner. Plus you get to see creatures use stuff like skyscrapers as weapons. Now that's worth it.

First off, the animation was stunning. Godzilla wasn't just a monster that roared--he was showing emotion every second. He was practically an actor in the movie. Plus with all the destruction, the animation had to be top notch, otherwise the entire movie would flunk. However, Godzilla was a little on the pudgy side. I mean with all that mass, his legs did have to be huge. We love him just the way he (she?) is.

While the monsters were outstanding, the humans were just...stupid. When they knew that one of the creatures had destroyed an entire city, they kept the other one to "study" it. Then it took a scientist, whose only purpose was to explain the plot, to realize where the plot was going so the humans could find out that they were missing half their bunker where they kept all their nuclear equipment. You'd think they'd have a little security there. Or at least satellite images--somehow they kept losing the gigantic monsters. The creatures were great, the humans were dumb...maybe that was the theme.

The actors were great (Brian Cranston will always have my heart), and I definitely liked Gareth Edwards' version of Godzilla. There's a reason he immediately was offered a job after the movie came out. I suggest watching it but take note that it's also fairly depressing. Several major cities are absolutely demolished and possibly a million or more die. This fact is glided over to make room for action, but it's hard to think about. Especially when you couple it with the fact that the humans do nothing in the movie. Every move they make either fails or backfires, and in the end, it only shows that they're helpless. That's just what I realized though. Hopefully you'll find some hidden nugget of meaning that'll transform the entire movie for you. For me it's a story of narrowly avoided worldwide devastation, only avoided due to interference of a god. It basically showed me that humans are not God. Pretty interesting.

Now, there are other options. If you can't afford to see Godzilla, talk to my brother Luke (see Luke: Part I and II) who recreated the entire movie, shot for shot, line for line as best as he could, for my mother who was unable to go with us. He even did in an half the time, and now my mom doesn't have to go see the movie. Everybody wins!

...Except for the Godzilla franchise. They lost a couple bucks.

Movie Review: The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club (1985) - Directed and Written by John Hughes
Five high school students from completely different worlds are thrown together for one day in detention where they end up learning more about themselves than the other students.

I finally watched it. In the past, I had been told countless times that it was such a good movie, and that it would even change my life. Needless to say, my expectations were just a little bit high. Then, I watched it. I watched it straight through. I watched the entire movie.

And I don't get it. It's not like I thought the writing, cinematography, or acting was bad (per se), I just don't get it. Why did this movie need to be made? It taught me absolutely nothing, and it most certainly did not change my life. In fact, I was utterly bored watching it. I just don't get the movie.

I am the only person I know who doesn't like this movie, and I have been outcast because of it (see my book, All Alone in Rightville). However, I explained my case, and one of my friends re-watched the movie with what I said in mind. When she finished, she came back to me quietly, and her words were, "Why did that movie need to be made?"

I'm not saying all movies have to change my life, but for a movie considered as such a classic, I'm just confused as to why it lacked purpose. I learned nothing from it, and nobody will tell me what they learned. I'm at the point where I just want somebody to explain to me why it's a good movie. Maybe it'll be my favorite when I am just able to GET it.

The main thing that bugged me was the lack of change. If these kids were supposed to change each other then why was the jerk still a jerk, the bully guy still a bully, and the nerd still my least favorite character at the end? And the girls just fell in love with the guys, but the five of them are never going to see each other again. Even people who have seen the movie agreed that they'll absolutely go back to being the people they were before. Then what's the point of watching it? If there is no theme, no character change, no climax, and practically no plot, why am I watching this?

I just don't get it. If you do, please explain it to me. I would love to love the movie. But I can't really love something that has no purpose.

Unless that was the movie's purpose. To have no purpose.

Then I just don't like the movie.

Luke: Part II

My brother and I took piano lessons for eight or more years, and, though we enjoyed making music, we hated attending the annual recitals. For our certain piano teacher, the recital would fall every year in December on our mother's birthday. None of us wanted to spend that day (or any day) sitting around for a couple of hours in stuffy clothes listening to a little kid plunk out the notes to "Swing Low Sweet Chariot". Our teacher was also a classical voice teacher, and you could be sure that some young girl would be singing "Wouldn't It Be Loverly". All of this was endured for only ten minutes of Luke and I screwing up a song we had practiced perfectly for months just because our hands were shaking.

Our story takes place on one of the recital days, and...needless to say, we were dreading the night. Luke and I had just finished some class of ours, and our only choice was to change into our suits in the bathroom because there was no place to change at the Steinway Hall where the recital was being held. As I walked out of the stall (looking fabulous in my spotless suit and pink tie, I might add), I heard a sharp gasp from the other stall.

"Oh, no..." Luke muttered, "Mom is going to kill me..."
"Did you drop your tie in the toilet again?" I asked.

With a sigh, Luke stepped out of the stall, complete in his suit--but with a frown on his face. Before I could ask, he pointed down to the ground, and I laid my eyes upon the horror of his suddenly incomplete outfit. He was missing a sock. Mom was going to kill him. I tried to act like no one would notice, but his dress pants were too short, and his barefoot-dress shoe look was quite obvious as compared with his other lone sock.

"What are we going to do?" he asked me, aghast with remorse.
"We? We are going to go to the recital. Don't worry, mom won't notice."
"Do you know our mother?! It's all over, Matthew!"

After much complaining, I got him into the car, and he drove us to Steinway Hall in a pensive silence. He acted as though he was driving to his own execution. When he parked, he took one look down at his sockless ankle and looked back to me as I reached for the handle to my door. Just as I was about to open it, the locking sound of the car doors reverberated in the small space. I glanced back to Luke, confused, but instead observed a strange and wild look in his eyes.

"Okay--here's the plan," he began.
"What? What plan? There's no plan!"
"No, no, just listen to me. Be cool. I have an idea."
"For what? Your sock problem? It's not a big deal--"
"You don't know what's at stake here, man!"

He immediately cleared his throat as a family walked by our car. They tried not to look at us, but we knew they had heard him yell. When they (and the awkwardness) had passed, he continued:

"Here's the plan: you give me your sock--"
"I don't like this plan."
"Listen! We've seen the order of the show, and I go first. So, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to walk up there with two socks, and when I sit back down, I'll inconspicuously take off your sock and hand it back to you for when you go up."
"That's a terrible plan!"
"Mom will never know! If we pull this off, it could be the greatest story to tell!"
"A sock escapade? That won't make a very good story."
"Just give me your sock--"
"I'm not giving you my sock, don't punish me for your bad attention to detail--"
"You'll get it back! This can work!"
"People will see us switching socks!"
"No, we're in the audience, remember? The students sit in the first three rows of the audience so everyone will be busy watching whoever is on stage!"

Eventually, the argument was harder than the act of taking off the sock so I finally gave it to him. He chuckled like a villain with a master plan as I realized that I looked very ridiculous with only one sock. Who was I kidding--mom would notice, and Luke's plan might just save us both. As we stepped inside Steinway Hall with only three socks between us, we found something a little different than what we were expecting. The students' seats were not in the first three rows of the audience like we had anticipated but...on stage--directly perpendicular to the audience where they would be able to see our ankles. I immediately looked at Luke.

"It could still work," he said instantly.
"Give me my sock."
"Our sock. And no, we're going through with the plan. All we have to do is be even more careful not to draw any attention when we're making the switch--"

Just then, we had stepped up to the stage, and we found our name plates on our seats. Mine was directly on the end of the row nearest to the audience where I would be in plain sight. Specifically my sockless ankle.

"It could still work," he said again, anticipating my words, "You just need to switch your sock so that the sockless foot is the one hidden, and then I can slip it to--"

Then, he noticed where his name plate was. Unlike the previous years where Luke and I had sat together, I was on the front row, and Luke was not behind me but on the third row.

"It could still work--"
"Give me my sock."
"The game is the most dangerous when you're closest to succeeding!"
"...what does that even mean?!"
"It could still work!"
"Give me my sock!"

We hushed our voices as a young girl took her seat in between us on the second row. I looked back at Luke with a vengeful look in my eyes as he so obviously proposed solutions in his head, staring only at his (and my) socks. Eventually, the girl left to go to the bathroom, and Luke immediately leaned forward with a--

"It could still work. All we have to do is get the help of that girl."
"What?! You don't know her!"
"Even better! There's no trail back to us! I'll just get her to fall in love with me, then she'll hand the sock to you!"
"This is a terrible plan--do not flirt with that girl! Give me my sock!"
"It could still work!"

When the girl had come back, I shot Luke death glares, hoping he wouldn't go through with his plan. However, there was no stopping Luke's plan; he already had leaned forward and cleared his throat. The girl jerked at the sound, but Luke's plan was not hindered in the slightest--he liked the element of surprise.

"So are you...new around here?" he said with a terrifying smile and a voice much lower than his own.
"In...Fort Worth?" she answered, "Uh, no, I was born here."
"Me too! That's funny!" he said right before he threw his head back with a forced, overdone laugh, "My name is Luke, by the way."
"(I can't for the life of me remember this girl's name)," she said with a hint of a smile.

Luke winked at me, and I chuckled nervously.

"You look very pretty in that dress, (I can't for the life of me remember this girl's name). I have to be honest though...I wasn't quite expecting to see someone as cute as you tonight."

She blushed.

"Tell me...do you like soc--?"
"Hey, Luke!" I shouted a little too loudly, "There's our family! Let's say hi--now! I bet they'd love to see us! Let's go over there! Immediately!"

I jumped up and pulled him off the stage as he whispered to me,

"It's working! She's putty in my hands! Now, I go in for the kill!"
"What girl would ever help you secretly exchange socks with a brother after one minute of talking?! Give me my sock."
"But Mom will see my--"
"Give me my sock!"

Somehow, just as he had convinced me to remove my sock, I did the same to him, and I retrieved my sock. I guess Luke finally realized it was hopeless, but the only thing I cared about was my sock. When we returned to our seats, the recital was about to begin, and I could faintly here Luke mutter, "It could still work." As the families took their seats, (I can't for the life of me remember this girl's name) quickly turned around towards Luke and began to play with her hair.

"So, how old are you?"
"I have a girlfriend."

Finally, the recital began, and the climax arrived: Luke played his piano pieces with one sock.

And Mom didn't notice. Turns out, she loved us enough to not worry about what we looked like, but instead, she joyfully listened to us play. We hadn't calculated love into the equation. That Mother outsmarted us again. Thank you, Mom, for coming to our recitals on your birthday.

Now that I think about it...why didn't we go to a store to buy a sock? We arrived at the recital early. We certainly could have. But I suppose that wouldn't have made a great story.

Oh--and we screwed up our songs anyway. Our hands were shaking.