What to Expect at a Christian College

Sure, there are many challenges with colleges, but there are also challenges specific for any Christian college, particularly the largest Christian university in the world. So since I can't really talk on the broad scale about every college, let me just tell you would encounter here at Liberty University, just as I have.

-You Will Hear "Heck" A Lot-

 "For Pete's Sake!", "Oh my goodness!", or my personal favorite, "By golly!" I appreciate the willingness to not curse in certain environments (it's also a good professional tool to learn), but do you have to sound like a character from Leave It To Beaver? Plus, being a Theater Arts Performance Major, I was able to see many of the freshmen auditions before I stepped up. It's always hard to find a comedic monologue that's clean, but some people always take it upon themselves to change the "bad parts." What they're left with is an audition that has five crap's, four heck's, two butts, and one "forget you". Everyone knows what you did.

-Patience-

 This is an actual picture of a line at Liberty. If you think this is long, you should see the line for picking up books. Not only are the lines long, but the walks are long too. I usually don't take a shuttle because (shocker) they take too long. Walking is faster, but it still takes me about ten minutes to get across campus. And I'm a fast walker; so fast that people actually part because they think I'm running and getting a workout. Or maybe they're just scared of me. Just think of it as God teaching you patience...the hard way.

-Workout Regulars-

Aka, the people who go to the gym the most but don't need to. I mean, just look at them. What on earth are they there for? Certainly not to burn some calories; I'm pretty sure calories are scared of them. The only reason they are there (besides the strong guy who comes in every once a week to keep his form) is because it's their identity. They like being strong, and people certainly notice. That's why they're there. I mean, I know you're supposed to treat your body like a temple, but my gosh, Buddha could fit in there! As for me, you can always tell where I've been, marked by the lowest weights on the machines I last used. But if you want to actually find me? I'll be up on the second floor, practicing my splits on a yoga mat.

-Crazy Drivers-

I think I learned this way back in Sunday school when my dad would complain about Sunday drivers; then I got to experience them for myself. And now, here at Liberty, every day is an adventure with Sunday drivers--especially since it is an open campus. Not only are there reckless college students but other people who somehow found themselves in the middle of a university by accident. As I was walking from the dining hall one day, I was about to step across the street but looked both ways, like a good pedestrian. I saw a car way down the way, but I decided to step on the crosswalk. Normally, cars will start to slow down when they, I don't know, see someone in the middle of the street, but this guy accelerated. Seeing him coming, I took a step back behind the yellow line and waited in the middle of the street for him to slam on his brakes (he wouldn't even had hit me if he hadn't). I waited until he waved for me to continue on, and when I did so, now at the sidewalk, the car slowed beside me, and a guy in the passenger seat leans out and says,
"Yo! You must be a freshman, bro! You gotta look where you goin' or you gonna be hit by a car! Just lookin' out for you, man."
"Sure."
I didn't realize that his bad driving would inform him that I must be a freshman. Well...I am.
...Lucky guess. Maybe you've been this guy before or maybe you've been the distracted girl who hit me with her car earlier today. Thank you for testing my reflexes.

-White Girls-

Eight o' clock in the morning is prime time to get knocked over by a herd of jogging, blonde, white girls. Be prepared for sayings such as, "I can't even," "OMG," "Literally," and "lolz." They talk as though they're texting. Somehow, they've even managed the art of double texting in actual, real life conversation. I can't (even) get a word in. But I guess I should only be listening, anyway. They're actually lovely, sweet girls if you get to know them. You just have to speak their language.

-Ring by Spring-

There should be a law that states you should be dating, at least, half a year before you get engaged. My parents actually only dated three months, but they were much older and able to make value judgments. Most people are just too immature to get married. You shouldn't be able to get married if the law says you can't consume alcohol. Then again, if you don't even know what the electoral college is, you shouldn't be able to get married.
And don't ever propose on campus. On a weeknight.

-Youth Ministry Majors-

There's absolutely nothing wrong with youth ministry majors. There are just a lot of them. And please stop saying, "Oh..." whenever I tell you I'm majoring in something that doesn't have the word "Ministry" in the title. There are other ways to witness.

-Best Friends-

Finally, at a Christian college, you will find best friends that love you unconditionally and challenge you spiritually. If they don't, you haven't found the right friends yet. Or maybe, you need to be the one that can be that friend to someone else. Who knows, maybe you've already met your future best man or maid of honor.

Just don't propose on campus.