Thoughts of an Introvert

In the wake of countless freshman activities to get me to open up, I've decided to let others know a few things about introverts that you may not know. First of all, there are many classifications about what differentiates an introvert from an extrovert, but the way that helps me understand it the most is where the person goes to recharge. Extroverts rejuvenate themselves by being with other people while introverts rest by being alone, which leads me to my first little bullet point...

• Let us recharge. 

If we've had a long day of classes, dealing with people, or even having fun with friends, we find comfort and solace in alone time. If you take away our quiet time, you take away our rest. We're like batteries. If you let us recharge, we can perform to our maximum potential the next day and love doing it too. And, just like batteries, if you don't let us recharge...we'll die.

• Just because we're alone does not mean we're lonely.

Don't feel sorry for us because we declined to go play basketball. It's not antisocial--you're just overly social. And don't invite me over to sit with you at lunch, group of strangers. If I'm alone, it's probably cause I like it that way. There's nothing wrong with being alone. In our world, alone and lonely have the same meaning, but you can be alone without being lonely. If I'm lonely, I'm going to do something about it. I don't need you to fix it for me.

• We're not antisocial.

Introverts are some of the most fun people I know. For instance, I'm a theatre major and still an introvert. I get enough social time, and I have loads of fun. However, this does not mean I don't need to recharge. (See battery analogy) We'll socialize if we want to.

• We're not people haters.

Well...some of us may be. But you can also be a people hating extrovert. What I'm saying is that we're not hiding in our rooms because we never want to socialize, have fun, or go out. We're hiding in our rooms because you're peering under our door, trying to make sure we have friends. You are scaring us.

• We don't hate talking to people.

It's not that we dread it (all the time), but if we have something to say, we'll say it. When we're quiet, it's not cause we're scared (all the time), we just have nothing to say. Introverts tend to carefully think out their words so that we say only what we need to say. It's called efficiency. Write that down, extroverts.

• Being an introvert does not mean we don't come out of our shell.

It just means we have one. We open it around people we know. I know several people have remarked that I'm an extrovert, but they have only seen me with my best friends. With new people, we're just a little more closed off. But, do not try to crack open our shell immediately. If you think we're shy and try to get us to dance with you in public after we meet you (true story), that shell is going under lock and key around you. Being shy has to do with personality not being an intro/extrovert. You can be shy on either side. I just happen to be a slightly shy, awkward introvert who doesn't like dancing in public when I first meet you (still a true story).

These are not rules, and they may only apply to me. I only hope this may give you some sort of tolerance for those who are not like you. Maybe you can appreciate their differences or maybe this can help you realize your necessary recharge times that you've been missing. And for God's sake, don't try to make someone you just met dance with you in public.

(Very true story)...

The Pianist

The Pianist (2002) - Directed by Roman Polanski and Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
In the birth of the Holocaust, a Jewish musician struggles to survive in a now German-occupied Poland...

I tried so hard. I tried not to get attached to the main character. I tried to not be invested in the story. I tried. Then the tears came. My girlfriend was just as surprised as I was. In the beginning, I thought the story was boring, and the characters uninteresting; then, I realized that the characters were just real life people, and the story was only slowly reeling you into their normal lives. It is a movie that allowed you to peer into the ordinary life of people who walked through the streets of the ghetto, avoiding the dead bodies of children at every corner. Especially at these moments, I tried to keep a distance. I tried.

At first, I thought Adrien Brody (Wladyslaw Szpilman) was nothing to sneeze at, then I suddenly fell in love with his completely normal character. Farther into the movie, he experiences a slow but drastic change, and this is where his Academy Award comes into play. He transforms from a young, handsome man into a dying, nearly-crippled, dirty man who has nothing left for which to live. He deserved that award.

The fact that this movie is based off a true story makes it even more gripping and hard to watch. The simple truth is that this movie tells a story that will leave you with a myriad of emotions that you can't tell apart. If anything, watch it solely because it is a movie in which you can find yourself invested. Not many movies touch your heart with love, sadness, and joy like this one (even if you try to avoid them). It's worth the time.

I must say though, my favorite part was watching my girlfriend's reactions even though she had already seen the movie. She's not one who can stay emotionally distant like I can.

Well...at least I tried.

Moving Out

I have packed for multiple vacations and car trips before, and the way of thinking, for me, is that I will be packing for however many days with the knowledge that I will return. But packing for going away to college? It's packing with the knowledge that, essentially, you won't return. Of course, I will be back in Texas for the summer, Thanksgiving week, Christmas etc., but I will always return to Virginia, not the other way around. Instead of me returning to Texas, it's me visiting and returning to my new home. Although, Texas will always be home for me; that will never change. Sure, it's sad, but I try to pretend I don't have negative emotions.

I've found that it was very hard to pack for a new home. I had to take everything I would need, combined with everything I might want, along with stuff I'll probably never use. It's basically picking up your room and taking it with you to another state, while still leaving some of the stuff in your room because you don't want to absolutely destroy the memory of your old home. As for me, I'm not actually taking a lot; if you look in my room, it doesn't look bare...just clean. I wouldn't call it nostalgia necessarily, because after all, I don't have emotions.

All I'm thinking about is the 20+ hour drive to Virginia. There's only so many things you can do on a car trip before your laptop dies. Half of the time, I'll be driving, sure. But the other half? Who knows. I can last about 30 minutes of reading before I get car sick. What then? These are not rhetorical questions people, I'm actually wondering what to do.

First, we'll stop in North Carolina to visit my brother's family, but then, after a couple of days, we arrive at Lynchburg, Virginia, and I find my home at Liberty University. Now, that's a scary thought...

Good thing I don't have emotions.

The Potato State: Finale

Our vacation was planned to go until Monday, but Sarah and I left early to make it to my grandfather's funeral. It was a happy final day filled with nonchalant conversation, packing, and planned dashing from plane to plane--until our flight was delayed. Here we sit, Sarah and I in Denver, waiting for our flight to arrive. By the time we take off, we would have already been home if the flight hadn't been delayed over three hours. I blame this morning's omen. Everything was happy...until a bird hit our window.

 

No jokes were allowed to be made about the bird. But this experience did provide me with a window into Sarah's soul. I just pray I don't run into it.