The Potato State: Day III

There's no better way to start a day than to accidentally punch your girlfriend in the face when she tries to wake you up.

We left early in the morning to go to another town in Idaho where there would be zip-lining (which I had never done before), and as soon as we arrived, I found that I had been placed in a sitcom--the kind where several characters that don't go together are locked in one room. Funny for the audience, not for them.

First on the character list was the country jock who worked there. He was loud, opinionated, and all about anything pertaining to himself. My first experience with him was when he was arguing with a girl on the phone. In the middle of the conversation, he turns to me and loudly says, "That's what ya get fer marryin' a blonde."
Ah, yes. Life lessons from CJ (Country Jock).

Next was the jock jock who also worked there. Big, bulky, and slow speech. The first thing he said to me was a halfhearted grunt. The model employee, JJ.

Then there was my girlfriend's mom who is an eternal ray of sunshine (ERS, if you so desire).

There was also Mr. Jokester (MJ). Lanky, older, and always equipped with a "dad joke" for any situation. As soon as he walked in the building, he saw me putting on my harness and said, "It's only for halfway." His family laughed, but I just looked at him. Excuse me? Who are you, and what does that even mean?

And finally, there was me. The quiet observer who was using this experience as play time.

The five of us (plus many others) piled in a trailer and were escorted to the first zip-line sight. As soon as we sat down, MJ exclaimed, "Put your luggage in the overhead compartment..." followed by a polite laugh from the crowd. And he doesn't even get paid for his stand-up, folks! The first zip-line was basically a warm-up for everyone, and the second was the one where the workers tried to get us to break the spin record. Upon hearing from JJ that I was not getting my money's worth if I didn't spin, I decided to go for the record, 35. My girlfriend got 26 spins, and I got 25...and a fourth.
"Well, yeah!" I said, "It's cause Sarah's smaller."
"Actually, you go faster if you're bigger," one of the workers energetically corrected me.
"And you're bigger," CJ added for good measure--in case I wasn't listening.
ERS went after me, but, due to lack of speed, she stopped just by the hill. CJ took no time to grab a rope attached to the zip-line and ran towards the edge of the hill. What he was trying to do, I'll never, to this day, understand. With the rope in his hand, he jumped off, but ERS had started to drift backwards. The rope whipped back, and he fell into the brush below.
"My Tarzan weren't as cool as I thought," he shouted.
Once he climbed back up the hill, he attached his harness to the wire and pulled himself out to ERS, who was laughing nervously by this point. He reached her in a short amount of time, but when he arrived, he (somehow) got his carabiner stuck in ERS' carabiner.
"[CJ]" the other worker called out, "Bring her back?"
"We're carabinered!"
"Bring her over!"
"We're carabinered!"
After the other worker brought the rope around and pulled Tarzan to safety, she un-carabinered them, and ERS stepped off the hill with another nervous laugh.

There was one more smaller zip-line, and by the time I had gone, I stepped to the side and waited for the rest of Sarah's family to make it across. At this end, CJ and JJ were standing, waiting to help brake the participants' landing while talking to each other. I found myself in the middle of their conversation, only glad that I had missed as much of it as I could.
"So, I'm putting the dumb blonde on my list," CJ said as he scratched his inner thigh.
"Which list? The half-list?"
"But I don't care. She's hot, and that's all that matters."
I turned to Sarah.
"Isn't that guy married?"
"Him?" she answered, "Are you kidding?"

Finally, we arrived at the fourth and final zip-line where two could go at once and race on separate lines. Sarah and I were first, and as soon as I stepped up, one of the girl workers cleared her throat.
"You need to be on the left."
"Oh, okay," I said.
"It's just that...the right line is faster, and we're giving her a chance--"
"Heavier ones go on the left," JJ said without a pause.
"Oh, good," CJ said to me as he stepped up to the platform, "You're on the left. You tell 'im that the bigger ones go on the left?"
I get it, CJ. I get it.

As CJ and JJ traveled the zip-line to prepare to brake us on the other side, Sarah and I waited on our platforms--I was on the left side. I was on the left. In the awkward silence while we were waiting, the girl worker turned to me and asked,
"So, are you from here?"
"No, ma'am, I'm from Texas."
"Oh..."
Right before I was about to race, the girl handed me a water bottle and said, "Here. This is [CJ]'s water. He didn't want to carry it."

Then, Sarah and I raced (with a water bottle in my hand). I got there first (because I was fiercely kicking in the air and gaining speed), but CJ didn't brake Sarah as hard, and she went farther across the final hill.
"Dude, she won," CJ laughed.
"Then you don't get your water bottle," I said as I tried to throw it past him (unfortunately, he caught it).
"She totally won," JJ added, "Cause you were flailing."
"I was kicking," I said.
"You were flailing," CJ laughed.
"Flailing don't do nothin'. You could go down an endless zip-line 'n flail to your heart's content, and ya wouldn't get there no faster."
I left in the middle of the sentence and congratulated Sarah on her "win."
"Whoa! PDA!" CJ shouted.
"I can show you more if you like!" I shouted back, then said to Sarah, "Cause you never get any and don't know what it looks like."
"Be nice," Sarah said as she shushed me.

Finally, we were back in the trailer, and MJ made a joke my mind probably erased from my memory. When we started moving, CJ started talking, to my great surprise.
"Make sure and buckle--the blonde is driving."
"Is that your wife?" someone asked.
"No, the other blonde is my wife. This one is only half stupid. You'll recognize the stupid one when you see her."
"She's the one who answers, 'What?' to every question," JJ added, "Just call her 'What' and she'll respond, 'What?'"
The two laughed, and someone asked about their marriage.
"She doesn't like it when I call her my wife, though," CJ said, "I don't know why. Maybe it's cause I'm too good for her."
"That's not it," I said.
"So he's a guy that doesn't date and just calls a co-worker his wife?" Sarah asked.
Bingo.

If you haven't learned at least one life lesson from CJ, then just learn to call girls "stupid" to their face. As for me, I was treating this little adventure like an episode of Lost. I was studying every one of the characters with whom I might possibly have had to spend a couple years of my life.
The good news? I didn't have to.

The better news? Golden Corral fixes everything.

The Potato State: Day II

If you're wondering if I woke up only to run right outside to climb a small mountain in our backyard, then you are not only psychic but a creep. Why would you be thinking about that? Don't you have something to do?
As for me, I not only scaled a mini-mountain but also hiked across a trail where I found this little beauty.

Oh, hey, Idaho (See, I told you I would do some outdoor adventuring). Next we visited the town of Ketchum (See, I told you I would do some small-town exploring) and found a very nice little bookstore as well as some other gems. However, in my roamings, I found many pictures and t-shirts of Ernest Hemingway. That's when I found out that he was buried a minute from where I was staying.

As you can see, people remember him by drinking too much and smoking at his grave. Hey, if he had been alive, he would have done it with you. The money is a nice touch--not as clever as the coconut water though.
Needless to say, I ended up with a collection of Hemingway's short stories from the bookstore I mentioned earlier. I have my night completely set.

Then I realize that a movie I wanted to see is about to go off Netflix.

Priorities...

The Potato State: Day I

Suddenly, I find myself in Idaho. And I realize five things.

1) Everything is yellow.
2) There are a lot of potatoes.
3) There are a total of eleven people living in Idaho.
4) My God, there are a lot of potatoes.

And 5) It's actually very beautiful. For a state nobody really remembers as a state, it's quite underrated. It feels just like Colorado, but it's even more silent. Once you get past the yellowed wasteland that is Boise (and the potatoes), you find a little place called Sun Valley where there are colorful aspens and serene hills. There is even a gentle river that is about a couple feet away from my door. Granted, it smells like poop, but that's not the point here.
I came here with my girlfriend's family before I leave for college, and at first, I was skeptical. When people asked me where I would be vacationing, I found it very hard to say "The Potato State" with confidence. But here I am, ready for a few days of outdoor adventuring and small-town exploring. Out there, there's so much Idaho to be discovered.

But for right now? I'll stay here, sitting by Sarah as we hold hands and read our books in silence.

Now, that's a vacation.

Movie Review: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) - Directed by Matt Reeves and Written by Mark Bomback and others
Ten years after the incident in San Francisco, humanity has nearly been obliterated, and the genetically evolved apes remain, led by Caesar. When his tribe clashes with a surviving group of humans, the two races are suddenly thrown into a conflict that will decide the fate of both human and ape.

What surprised me most about this movie was that about 20% of it was action, and the previews are very misleading (in a good way). The average viewer is coming into the theatre expecting to see monkeys riding horses and shooting guns, and they get just that, mixed with a whole lot of theme and emotion. The good thing is, you're not exactly cheering for the apes to wipe man from the face of the earth, and you're also not siding with your own kind. Instead, this movie makes you hate war and lets you see that there is no true bad guy and good guy. The humans had some bad guys and some good guys as did the apes. In fact, much of the theme came from the fact that the apes (since they had been genetically altered) were becoming more like humans in the way they walked and talked but especially in their actions.
Don't worry though. There is a villain on both sides, though one is misunderstood and the other is a villain for good reasons but a villain nonetheless. You'll get your fill of an epic good V.S. evil showdown on a high tower that begins to crumble and explode. Where else would a final battle take place?

This movie is obviously better than its predecessor, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but I feel like the titles weren't really thought out. Come on, humanity--dawn comes before rise. Get it right. It happens every day.
And the fact that Gary Oldman was in this movie makes it ten times better.

The animation was beautiful, and the creators very cleverly marked each of the ape main characters so that they would be easily recognizable from the crowd. Andy Serkis was especially brilliant; just the difference he achieved in portraying King Kong and then Caesar while still being a flat-out monkey is outstanding.

I actually liked the writing a lot, but sometimes the story got a little too complicated. Many times, there was a lot going on because you're trying to keep up with two races as well as their histories and characters. Unfortunately, with that many characters and backstories, some fall through the cracks. We hear only once about the main human girl's daughter and see once about Gary Oldman's family before he goes off to kill an army of apes. It still showed everyone's reasons, but they weren't exactly as developed as they could have been. The point still got across though and while sweet Gary only cried for about five seconds of the movie, I wanted to cry with him (I might as well name this post "My Not-So-Secret Love for Gary Oldman"). Now, a way the writing did work was that it made the two races so lovable that you didn't want anyone to die. As soon as the fighting began, it just made me sick. They also, very smoothly, led to the war between humans and apes while still maintaining Caesar as a good guy who silently holds a special love for humans in his heart.
Also, the movie opens and closes on the same shot. I love when movies do that. Maybe a little too much. It's brilliant and also memorable.

Okay, so the plot is a conflict between apes and humans, and it sounds dumb--but it's filled with more lessons, emotions, and plot twists than at which you could shake a machine gun. Go see a movie before you judge it.

And if you do happen to see it...watch for the scenes with the character Koba. According to my brother Luke (see Luke: Part I, II, and III), many of his shots very closely resemble Scar from the Lion King. He would like someone to back him up.

I am not that person.

Luke Part III

Looking back at my past experiences with my brother Luke, I realize that he prepared me for my future. Most kids play video games or something, but my brother and I always used our imaginations. When I would watch a movie, I would instantly go outside to change the story and make it even cooler. When Luke and I got just a little bit older, somehow our private imagination turned into public storytelling. We found a video camera and pressed record before we even discussed what we were doing. From terribly painful home movies to B movie comedies, we created a series of movie spoofs about 0011D (like 007 but a fake number...? Elevendy? Never mind.). It started with a spur of the moment taping, but by the final time, we had watched Casino Royale and created a way to spoof the movie.

Yes, yes, it's on Youtube. All our movies were food themed for some reason, and we named this one Casino Tortellini (why we didn't name it Club Royale, I will never understand). Now, since there were only two of us, as you can imagine, we played all the parts. Luke was the director, "writer"--I use sarcastic quotes because there was no script (I'll get to this part later)--and the main character. I played almost every other part. Sidekick, boss, bad guy, girl love interest, henchmen. It was Dr. Strangelove, and I was Peter Sellers. Unfortunately, our costumes were limited so the characters in suits looked very similar except for their ties.

Now, the writing...we had no script, only an idea of what would happen when and where, and right before Luke would press record, we would tell me a summary of what I was to say and a quick overview of blocking. I nodded, he pressed record, and I would do it. I didn't realize at the time that he was helping me at picking up a change in a script and go with it on the fly. I helped a friend with a commercial recently, and Luke and I were both in it. We walked in, wearing business suits as we were supposed to, and my brother was playing the boss. However, after some quick consideration, the directors swapped us because I looked more like the boss. Then they told me to walk in, give them a speech about something work-related then turn to face the window. I did just that, and they loved it. In fact, the directors liked what I did so much that they added several shots of me doing my improv as I faced the window. It still scared me to death, it made me shake, and I thought I did horrible, but they encouraged me that it was perfect for what they needed. I couldn't help but thank someone else because where had I initially learn this skill? In my backyard where my brother would tell me to get shot, give a bad guy speech, and die dramatically. And I would do it. Then I would switch shirts and become a different character.

My brother not only taught me skills I use today, but he gave me a chance to learn how much I love storytelling. He let me be a bundle of completely different characters I will always love and also gave me something to do with all the free time I had in my homeschooled schedule. I realize now that my main love of acting is the characters and completely becoming a different person, and that first began right here at my home. In one day, I got to be the evil bad guy all the way to the kooky sidekick. And all it was, was putting on a different shirt. That's all it should be to become a different character. He taught me that.

So no matter how much theatre I do, it will never compare to my first love of film which will always remind me of the time I first began: Luke pressing record on the heavy video camera, and then whispering to me in mid-take that I had forgotten to use my finger as a mustache as I glanced into the lens with sheer fear, then rubbed my nose with my hand, gradually formed my finger into a mustache on my upper lip, and exclaimed half-heartedly, "I shaved, and it grew back..."

We finally did write a script several years ago. It's a spoof on another 007 movie, Goldfinger, but we named it Chickenfinger. See? Food related.

I wonder if we'll ever get around to filming it...

TV Review: Fringe

Fringe (2008-2013) - Directed by Joe Cappelle and others and written by J.J. Abrams and others
A mad scientist, a bitter, cynical con man, and a hardy FBI agent are all thrown together to work for a secret division of the FBI known as the Fringe Division, investigating and solving strange phenomena that may threaten the very existence of their world.

So I'm a Fringe fanatic. I have an IPhone case that only Fringe fans will catch. I love the show for many reasons, but I might as well title this post "Why Fringe is better than Doctor Who".

If you're not really a sci-fi kind of person, then this show might not be your favorite, but you'll still enjoy it. It's Doctor Who mixed with 24 mixed with Sherlock mixed with Grey's Anatomy. Not really, but the point at which I'm arriving is that it's got enough science for the sci-fi-ers, enough action for the adrenaline junkies, enough intrigue for the mystery lovers, and enough emotion to keep you interested and involved until the very end. First off, J.J. Abrams is brilliant, and the science in this show is astounding. I'm not a big sci-fi nerd, but this show made me become one. Don't think it's hard to understand, however; the writers knew their audience wouldn't be scientists so everything is explained perfectly, and it makes you feel smarter, in fact.

Apart from the writing, the actors are brilliant. Hypothetically, even if every other aspect of a show or movie is amazing, I would not be able to watch it if the actors were not believable. This show absolutely has dedicated actors. So much so that when I was watching an episode about an alternate version of the characters in a different reality, I thought, "Man, I haven't seen Anna Torv in a while. Is she even in this episode?" Then I realized how stupid I was. I was watching Anna Torv play the same character but a slightly different version, and I didn't even know it. The actors got to play many characters, and there was some very intricate character development. When I forget they're actors, then they've done their job. What fun it must have been for the actors during this show. Also, John Noble is too outstanding, and Anna Torv did very well with an American accent. Few people know she's Australian (and much more famous there).

Yes, there are cons. Sometimes the animation is super cheesy, but the animation is very minimal. Whenever they could, they used makeup and costumes (which were top notch), and I was only taken out of the story a couple of times due to the animation. Even the writing had its cons, but you must remember that it is very hard to construct five seasons of one hundred episodes all filling the time slot of an hour. In a movie series, the entire time can be at least six hours, but that's only six episodes of a TV series. It's very hard to keep a series going, and sometimes some of the plot falls through because either it didn't work or it has to make way for something bigger that's rising. Most of the viewers probably forgot the little snippets that were never brought up again, but I catalogued them because I assumed everything in the show was important. There were only a few episodes that fell through, but this show did a better job at holding itself up than any other show I've seen. Especially with how complicated it was. This show is certainly no Gossip Girl. The beginning episodes are linked to the very ending, and I'm so glad this show was able to complete a full circle without accidentally creating a messy, open rhombus (again, Gossip Girl). Or even How I Met Your Mother--making things up as you go along.

Some don't like the final season, but I just treated it like a movie. The show ended, and a movie was made, almost as a sequel. If you've seen the show, you understand. It's almost like a different show while still being the same old Fringe.

Never before has a show made me feel like a kid during playtime and a scientist at the same time. I absolutely suggest watching it. It only gets better as it goes along. So if you want to be immersed in a great story full of complicated writing, dedicated actors, and stunning cinematography, then  Fringe is the show for you. At least try it out. Soon enough, you'll be helplessly attached and buying a phone case like me.

Unless you're like my girlfriend Sarah. She watched Fringe for me but stopped around the third season because she was too confused and overwhelmed.

But hey. That's how I felt when she made me watch Gossip Girl.