Auditioning

You may be reading this because you want to better educate yourself with facts about the life of the starving artist, or you may be reading this because you're bored. Either way, this post will certainly achieve your goal (look at you go!) because this post is all about auditioning--no, not tips on how to stand out during auditions (if anyone needs to learn those, it's me), but auditions according to the actor for those of you who have never stepped into one.

First off, auditions are scary. Auditions are as scary as Willem Defoe getting his car rear-ended. Think of an interview...but you have to sing. No matter how many times you do it, it's nerve-racking. You bare your soul to a man or woman you've never met and--here's the worst part--get told no. Over. And over. And over again. No. No. No. There's a reason people call acting the job of rejection. Going to an audition is like going to a break-up. Sometimes, you already know how it's going to turn out, but you show up anyway and do your best to prove that you're right for the show and that you love the show more than anyone else. Then, the director tells you that you're "just not right for the show." Sometimes, the director doesn't even give a reason; more often than not, a soft "thank you" lets you know that you're not what they're looking for--but that in itself should be a consolation.

You didn't fail (unless you literally failed (yes, I am speaking from experience)). Every director has their own interpretation of the show, and when you're auditioning, you're not fighting against other actors--you're fighting against the director's vision of the character. Who fits the model in his head best? From there's it's just piecing together parts of a puzzle. True, sometimes it is hard to remember this when someone slightly better than you gets up to sing, but the thing I have learned to do in this situation is...smile. Even if it's fake, it looks better than a menacing glare; then, even better, the more you fake smile, the more it becomes real. Soon enough, you'll actually be happy that the person is doing well, and it makes you more confident for your own audition. Look at that. I guess I did have some tips to offer.

But back to the rejection. I get into about one-fourth of the shows I audition for. The good thing is that this gives me a lot of experience, but it's still extremely hard. For me, every part I audition for is the part I've never wanted more in my life. Sure, I may like some more than others, but when I walk into an audition for a certain part, I have never wanted that part so badly. And to get shot down without another thought? Heartbreaking. Auditioning never gets easier, and the heartbreak never gets less painful.

When people ask Matt Damon if they should go into acting, he tells them "no" because he understands that if that person will change their mind based on one "no", how will they be able to withstand a thousand? Think of it this way: the job of an actor is auditioning and getting the role is just a perk. It's a job of rejection, and if you plan to go into this job, you should be prepared for some major heartbreak and "no's". I've even been told that getting a degree in theatre is useless cause the job rate after college is so low. I just laugh. I'm used to the condescending "good for you," and the empty smile and nod. They try to "help me," but I just laugh.

Cause obviously they don't understand that rejection fuels me.